資材主管

6年以上經驗／專科／工業管理學類

修改後自傳：

My name is Ｏ Ｏ and I was born in Ｏ, Taiwan, in 19Ｏ. I am married with two children and my wife works as a senior editor for a publishing company, while my two daughters attend elementary school and junior high school, respectively.
In terms of personality, I am easygoing and always work well with colleagues to achieve company goals.
I graduated from Ｏ Ｏ College in 19Ｏ, majoring in Ｏ　Ｏ, and then completed my military service in Ｏ 19Ｏ.
I have over twenty years experience in electronic industry management, including networks, PCs, peripherals, optoelectronics and electrical subcontracting.
As I am in charge of a procurement department, I do periodic reviews to achieve targets. I also see how functions can be improved through various forms of training, such as weekly specialty training by different colleagues with different skills and experience. I have received positive feedback for this and have been described as “assertive” “responsible” and “innovative” by my boss.

My skills and experience include:

- Purchasing fiber transceiver modules and conducting associated training.
- Familiarity with ERP systems on both application and phase-in.
- Workflow analysis and production planning to cut costs.
- Inventory control and warehouse management.
- Experience dealing with SMT/DIP manufacturers.

I will continue to strengthen my logistic skills and purchasing management ability in the future, thus helping me to increase profitability and cut costs. With my years of management experience, I have shown that I can work under pressure to reach targets and cooperate effectively with colleagues. The phrase “team work” would be my article of faith or a major factor in terms of my work experience.

Enclosed are some materials displaying my experience in related managerial positions and I would be willing to provide other references to demonstrate my abilities. Given the opportunity, I will concentrate my energies on the task at hand and do my best to achieve the objectives of my employer. There is no doubt that I would be of great value to your company.

修改建議：
I reduced the amount of family information as this would not normally be found in an English-language job application. I also changed ‘thru’ to ‘through’ as the former is too informal in this context.
Changed the word ‘aggressive’ to ‘assertive’ in text on positive feedback and changed ‘chief’ to ‘boss.’ ‘Aggressive’is inappropriate in this context and sounds negative whereas ‘assertive’sounds more positive. ‘Boss’ is more accurate than ‘chief’ in this context. Also changed ‘initiative’ in this section to ‘innovative’because ‘initiative’ is a noun and ‘innovative’ is an adjective.
Corrected ‘invertory’ to ‘inventory’in the specialities section.
I also re-wrote some sections to make them read more clearly and more like they would be written by a native English speaker.
Overall, the autobiography was clearly written with good use of vocabulary.