領隊

1~5年經驗／大學／德文語文學類

修改後自傳：

My name is Ｏ, Ｏ-Ｏ, I am ＯＯ and I was born in Ｏ. I am independent, responsible, friendly and easy-going.
I graduated from ＯＯ College of Languages, majoring in German with English as my minor. Throughout my academic years I took part in many extra-curricular activities, especially volunteer work.
I was a receptionist for the German teacher and principal I acted as a tour guide for them in Ｏ. This allowed me to show them Taiwanese culture and speak to them in German. I not only gained many different valuable experiences from these extra-curricular activities, but also acquired how to interact with different kinds of people.
During my two years at college in Ｏ, I was an exchange student for half a year in Germany. During this time I made lots of friends from all over the world. Meeting them enabled me to learn about different cultures and broadened my horizons.
Every weekend my friends and I took trips to other cities or countries, for which we did extensive planning and preparation. This training helped me become more independent, self-motivated and well-organized. Thanks to these experiences, I found that I had an aptitude for tourism. Therefore, I very much enjoyed planning trips and travelling. Also my experiences as an exchange student helped me become more confident talking to new people.
I am very interested in the field of tourism and with my background and experience related to this field, I am confident that I can successfully fill the position, and perform my job effectively and efficiently. I am a committed worker and will do my utmost to realize the objectives of the travel agency.
Your favorable consideration of my application would be highly appreciated.

修改建議：
The resume was excellent. Very clearly written, few mistakes and these were only minor, for example ‘treasurer’ is the correct term rather than ‘Leader of Finances. A few prepositions were also incorrect.
In the autobiography I deleted the references to family, not because they were incorrect but because this sort of information would not be on an English-language job application.
Overall this was clearly written with not many mistakes. I did some re-writing so that it reads more like a native English-speaker had written it but there were few comprehension problems.