國外業務主管

／專科

修改後自傳：

I studied fashion design at O O University, because I believe I have inherited the artistic talents of my father, who was a professor of art design and has greatly influenced me during my upbringing.

After obtaining my bachelor's degree, I started my first job as a sales assistant in a garment factory, where I assisted the sales team in the sampling and pricing processes.

This job not only offered me the chance to learn the inner workings of the business, but also provided me insight about the production process. I learned the importance of communicating effectively.

To gain experience in international trade and learn English, I decided to change jobs and started working for a company named O O Manufacture, which specializes in knitted fabrics and sweaters.

Over the past O years, I have gained experience as a merchandiser. I have obtained the skills of negotiating with people as well as coordinating them. More importantly, my knowledge in this field became more profound.

In OOOO, I started working as merchandising manager at O-O, a manufacturer in OO that specializes in children's apparel. I have supervised and led a sales team, participated in research and development programs, served clients and offered products that were in line with the customers' specifications and standards. This position, which was a significant career change for me, allowed me to acquire a range of skills and job allowed me to develop myself significantly.

I began working as a production manager at O O, a procurement company in OO, in order to become more involved in international trade. This job allowed me to deepen my understanding and specialty in this field. I enjoy the fast pace work, which reflects my skills and shows that I am ready for a high-level position.

I believe that my work experience and professional skills are suitable for the position I am applying for. My diligence, determination and professionalism will definitely benefit your company.

修改建議：
Start your CV by introducing yourself, not your family. The fact that you studied art design was buried under a long sentence about your father. I rewrote it to bring attention to your educational background.

It would be better if you provide dates of entry for each job you have had so far. You do not have to be very specific, you could say: "I started working for O O in [year of entry]."

You should also indicate the duration of each job. From your English CV, it is impossible to tell how many years of experience you have in each position.

You have also left out the name of the first company where you worked at. It would be more professional to include the full names of each company you have worked for so far.

As a rule of thumb, never use the "&" symbol (ampersand) in a sentence and never abbreviate phrases like "research and development" into "R&D" if you are going to use it only once. If you are going to write it often, you can write out the phrase and abbreviate in parentheses. For example: research and development (R&D).

(Of course, you do not need to do this for well-known organizations such as NASA, NATO, ASEAN, the CIA, the FBI, etc.)