店長／賣場管理人員

6年以上經驗／大學／英美語文學類

修改後自傳：

Biography: OOO (OOO)

I am currently the supervisor of the menswear, sports & leisure and lifestyle department at OO Department Store in OO, where I have gained more than three years’ experience in the retail sector.

I graduated from National OO University of OO in 20XX with a major in English, and attended the General English Program of the International Language Academy of O in O, where I passed the OOO level of the Cambridge English Exam, which certifies that I have the language skills to live and work independently in an English-speaking country.
After graduating, I worked as a volunteer translator and receptionist at the Ambassador Hotel during the 20XX World Games in OO.

With more than three years’ work experience, I am confident that I have the necessary skills to not only communicate effectively with customers and deal calmly with complaints, but also design and bring various projects and sales promotion campaigns to successful completion.

My responsibilities at OO Department Store have included exploring new cooperation opportunities and maintaining relationships with our customers. As I worked to plan and finish multiple concurrent projects, I learned that efficiency, patience, an adventurous spirit and caution are essential to doing a good job. I consider the successful exploration of new brand cooperation opportunities and the introduction of a select lifestyle shop into my department to be among my top job achievements.

As head of this section, I manage nine employees and am responsible for external investments, manufacturer visits and related duties, store management operations, brand maintenance, project planning and execution, as well as departmental and cross-departmental communication and cooperation.

I started at OO Department Store as head of the women's shoes and jewelry division (O to O 20XX), followed by a stint at the headwear, sports & leisure and denimwear department (O 20XX to O 20XX) and promotion to my current position as head of the menswear, sports & leisure and lifestyle section.

I graduated from OO O OO High School of Commerce in 20XX, where I gained proficiency in the use of the Microsoft Office software suite, as well as certification as a Level O Technician for Computer Software Applications.

I enclose my resume and references, and shall be pleased to provide any further information you may need. I hope I may be given the opportunity to devote my talents and experience to your company.

Sincerely
O OO

修改建議：
Writing your name as “中文名OO,O” is very unusual. You need at least a space between the Chinese and English versions of your name. Using a title like “Biography: O OO (中文名)” is probably also a good idea.

The correct term is “menswear,” not “man’s wear.”

Pay attention to details such as spelling — at least run a spell-checker before you send out a job application: “I shall be pleased to [provie] provide any further information” and “I hope I can be given [te] the opportunity.” In addition, you should close with “sincerely,” not just “sincere.”
Also be careful of capitalization: “National OO University of OO” should be “National OO University of OO.”

It is not clear where you are currently working. From your Chinese resume, it seems that all your work experience has been at OO Department Store. I incorporated this into your biography, as it is relevant information to a prospective employer. If this is not correct, please fix it.

The “Education & Activity” and “Work Experience” sections were hard to understand. Although it might be a good idea to divide up information and use subheadings, presenting facts in bullet points is not standard practice in a biography or job application cover letter. I have used information from your resume to pad out the education and job experience sections.