秘書

6年以上經驗／大學／中國語文學類

修改後自傳：

My name is OO. I have a degree in Chinese Literature, graduating from OO University in OO, Taiwan in 20XX, and experience working in an admin position within a financial management consulting company, as well as teaching Chinese in a school.

I am currently working as a secretary in a financial management consulting company, where I have been for three years. I am in charge of analyzing daily financial trends, administrative affairs, translating English files and interdepartmental liaison. In this position I have learned much about finance and have improved my communication skills through dealing with customers and coordinating with the sales department.

Prior to this, immediately after graduation, I worked for three years in an after-class school, first as a teaching assistant and then as a teacher. During this time I taught students of 11-12 years old preparing for entrance into private junior high school. In addition to tutoring, the job entailed the preparation of teaching materials and undertaking administrative work. This experience gave me flexibility in teaching approaches tailored to the needs of individual students and gave me insight into the perspectives of parents and students.

During my time at university, I supplemented my income with part-time work at OOOO which taught me valuable lessons regarding financial independence and dealing with customers.

I have also used my spare time for constructive pursuits. I have studied for extra certification, passing examinations for tour group leader and tourist guide, gained the Certificate of Qualification to Teach Chinese as a second language, and improved my TOIEC score.

I look forward to having the opportunity to putting my skills and knowledge gained thus far to making a constructive contribution to your company.

修改建議：
Firstly, the general level of English is very good: grammatically it is very sound. Some attention must still be paid to using natural turns of phrase, word choice and collocation, however. This has been cleaned up in the modified version above.

Secondly, I would suggest placing the most recent work experience first, followed by the subsequent jobs in sequence, ending with the first job.

Thirdly, do not place too much emphasis on working for OOOO. Not only did you take up a whole paragraph talking about working for OOOO, you placed it in a prominent part of the text. I have made that part more concise and placed it at the end of the work experience section.

Mention how long you have been working in the respective jobs: saying that you have stayed in one position for a number of years suggests that you are reliable and stable. Also emphasizing that you are currently employed (“I am currently working as a ...” is a good idea.

I have removed the final paragraph about how the experience of work has improved you as a person. These ideas are implicit in your descriptions of your work experience. I have replaced this with a wish for making a constructive contribution.

Good luck with your applications.